I am so blessed to have four amazing men in my life to honor on this day. My husband, who has always put his children first, and taught them right from wrong and how to love. Next my father - in -law, who showed me what a Dad is. Next my son, who I have watched grow from a boy to a man and become a wonderful Daddy to his children, and my son-in-law who is the best Daddy to four of my grandchildren. They are all such wonderful men and Dad's. And I know that is not something that happens for everyone. I am so blessed that my children and my grandchildren have a reason to celebrate today.
We had a wonderful day yesterday on the beach. Last night we wrote messages on balloons that I put light sticks in so they would "glow" and we released them. It was a super way to celebrate Megan's birthday. Then we all sat together and looked at photos of Megan and Kendall and talked about memories.
I am so blessed to have these times with my family.
Yes, I am still around. Since last fall I have had some rough times. I know that I will miss the girls forever, I know that it will never be okay, but I felt like I had fallen back down a dark hole. I did not share with anyone, only my wonderful hubby, I simply did nothing except go to work and come home. No letters, no dinners out, no Christmas cards! Pretending when anyone was around. Well, maybe we have found part of the problem.....hormones! Yikes, after my "surgery" last July the doc wanted to see how I would do on my own, well I didn't even thing about it affecting me. I am happy to say that about a month ago I called the doc and told them something was wrong. I worried that they would find nothing wrong and say I was depressed and put me on some meds. The good news was that the blood work came back "bad". (I say bad because it came back that my numbers were all whacked out) this was good news. I am happy to say that after a little more than three weeks of nice little hormone pills I am not crying everyday, I actually feel better.
I know that there will always be those times that missing the girls makes me cry, I know that there will always be those moments that make the memories flood back so quickly that it takes your breath away and catches you off guard. And I am thankful for those memories.