10 weeks

Today is 10 weeks. Sometimes it seems like yesterday and at other times it seems like a lifetime. Why is a question I ask often.

The first week of school is almost over. It has been crazy as usual. Jonathan (my grandson) loves his first grade teacher and he has his first loose tooth.

My sister will be here today, her daughter is in a volleyball tournament here this weekend. It will be a good chance for us to visit.

When I sat down it felt like I had a ton to say, but have not a clue what it was, guess I am off to work. Here's to a great weekend.

Love you girls.

Birthdays

Well I made it through my birthday and today is Wade's. It is hard to think about the fact that the girls are not here. My kids surprised us last night with a night in the country at a place to shoot clay disks. It was good for stress, that is for sure. They of course kept it a complete secret as usual. They are very good at things like that. I know that Megan would have loved it, the secret and the shooting. She always loved to surprise us.

Megan's friends have kept me in the loop also. They brought me cards and Tonya made me a wonderful serving tray with Megan and Kendall on it. She is so sweet.

School has been keeping me occupied during the day, but when 4 comes around I find that I don't want to come home. The house is empty.

Still waiting for them to install the headstone at the cemetary. The vase did not arrive with it so they are waiting still I think.

I still feel like I am going nuts, doesn't seem that I can talk about that to anybody really. It doesn't even make sense to me.

I miss you both so very much, I love you.

August 25, 2007

Wow, that was one crazy week. Besides having inservice each day from 8 to 4, I had to skip out to do some other stuff too.

Monday I had to go to the next town and pick up the rabies vaccine from their health department as the health department here did not have it. Then the shots began. Nine shots the first day. The reason they hurt is that they have to be intra-muscular, so they have to go in deep. I was a bit sore. Got the second vaccine on Thursday, but it was just one shot in the arm. Next day is going to be on Monday. I am telling you it is so much fun.

Tuesday we went to court for the probate. The judge was so nice and patient. I still am not sure I understand all the ins and outs of the legal mumbo jumbo, but I have a wonderful attorney taking care of us.

Wednesday was two months. A tough day. They called after lunch to tell us the marker was in. So I left work and met Dh and son out there to look at it. It is beautiful, they did a great job on our special instructions. For the marker to come in on the 22nd, makes you think.

Thursday evening we watched the youngest grandsons so my daughter and her hubby could take the oldest to meet the teacher night. He is so excited to begin first grade! Then we kept them all so they could have their date night, after they left about 10 I got busy on Caden's first birthday cake. I make each one of the grandkids a small bear that they can demolish. So we went to bed late!

Friday was another long day. We had meetings and then after school a get together for the teachers, from there I went to Chuckie Cheese for the birthday party. It was a lot of fun. I feel asleep on the couch about 10 last night, guess I was tired.

Today we begin helping my son and his wife pack up to move, they are supposed to be out of their house by Sunday night.

A friend gave me a book by Elizabeth Edwards to read. She lost a son in a car accident and a quote in her book makes sense to me and helps me make sense of how I feel sometimes. She said that whatever happens to her it she knows she can make it because she has already had the worst day of her life. I agree, I have already been through the worst day of my life, so everything else is small potatos.

Megan and Caden, he turned one yesterday.

I love you girls!

Life is crazy

Well, it appears that I will be starting rabies shots tomorrow. Since I was bitten by a stray cat on the 14th and there has been no luck at finding it, the doctor says we need to get started. Sounds like tons of fun.

School inservice is going well, we have been getting alot done in prep for the new year.

Lots of rain the last couple days. Made the grass grow again. All the rain we have had has been so wonderful for the yards and parks. Everything is green.

Busy week coming up. Besides starting shots, the probate hearing is on Tuesday, My daugther-in-laws birthday is Wednesday and Caden turns one on Friday.

It has been 8 weeks now, I still re-live the moment many times a day, like a movie playing in my head. I still feel like I go through my day pretending. I miss them so very much. Sometimes I feel them here, sometimes I hear them, sometimes I think I am nuts.

You are both so beautiful. I love you girls.

August 14th, 2007

We went out to the salvage yard today to see what if anything was in Megan's car. We got her sunglasses and a few other items. The lady was so very nice there. They have her car sealed up with plastic so they had to cut it off and will put it back on again.

Inservice is starting back up so my days have been busy, it helps to keep my mind occupied. Yesterday was a hard day since Kendall would have been 6 months old. What a special age. I called to check on the girl's marker, seems it will still be a while longer before it is shipped.

Trisha and her family have been ill with a stomach virus so I have not seen the boys since Friday. I miss them. Tyler came over for a while yesterday and played, he is growing up so fast.

I love you girls.

Tough Day

Yesterday was a Worse day. Why? I have no idea. However, when my son called last night he said it was a Worse day too. I could not explain why it was worse, it just was. This morning I still don't think life is great, but at least I can manage.

Another bill came on Tuesday, we are still expecting more, and the insurance is still progressing. Sometimes I want all this paperwork stuff to be done so I don't have to wonder who is calling or what will be in the mail.

I do try to enjoy stuff. The boys spent the night on Tuesday. I took them home about noon yesterday. We stayed up late, and had pancakes for breakfast. They wanted a chance to spend the night before school starts, and we are running outta days.

Here is the first photo of us with all five grandbabies. How wonderful!

And her is Kendall Madison on her first horseback ride. Of course that is Mommy making sure she stays safe.

August 4, 2007

I can't believe it has been 6 weeks. I also can't believe that instead of getting easier things are harder.

Megan and Kendall's marker is scheduled to ship on August 10th. I have no idea how long it will actually take to get here.

It rained again yesterday, I cannot remember the last time we had so much rain. Everything is green though. Megan and I would sit on the front porch and watch the rain. If it was chilly we would wrap up in blankets on the bench.

I talked to the mailman the other day. He is so nice, he said that he often talked to Megan and he could not believe that he had just stood on the porch and visited with her on Thursday and then on Friday when he brought the mail he was told she was gone. He had tears in his eyes, he is a very nice man. It just reminds me how wonderful Megan was, she was kind to everyone and always shared her smile. Kendall was so sweet, when you walked into the room she was smiling at you.

This is a photo of Megan and Kendall in the nursery. I painted the circles all over the wall to match her bedding.

I love you girls.