Sarah came to see me! Megan's friend Sarah was in town for her birthday and she called me up and we went to lunch. Oh my it was wonderful. I so enjoyed visiting with her and catching up. We are hoping we can see each other again over the holidays. College is going well for her and she looks wonderful. She made my week!

I cleaned Kendall's room yesterday. Things you don't think of, I did her laundry, it was still in the hamper (nothing gross).....dusted her room......

Today the plan was to clean Megan's room, it is so dusty in there, but I keep finding "other" things to do instead.....I know I should do her laundry too.......

Tomorrow I am going to bake---I missed that last year.

I love you girls

I added music! Yea for me. Learned something new.

The holidays are coming--working on that.

Went with Trisha to register for Megan Lea's baby shower. We had a good time. Can't wait till that baby girl gets here.

Madison is crawling! She is too cute. The boys all love her.

Hugs to everyone.

I love you girls.

And the holidays are coming around again. Last year I think I just survived them, this year I am going to have to actually live through them. The numb is gone and I have to feel again. I really don't want to.

Some things I have been learning:

I will have emotional highs, lows, ups and downs. I wish everyone would not think that if I have a good day my grief is all over, or that if I have a bad day I should be committed.

I wish everyone would not expect my grief to be over. The first few years are going to be exceedingly traumatic. As with alcoholics, I will never be "cured" or a "former bereaved parent", but will forevermore be a "recovering bereaved parent".

I wish everyone was not afraid to speak my child's name. My child lived, was important and I need to hear her name.

I wish that if I cry or get emotional you would know that it is not because you have hurt me, the fact that my child died caused the tears. You have allowed me to cry and I thank you.

My Blessings:

I love you girls.