Thursday, January 31, 2008

MIA

Well, as you can see I have not been on the computer in some time now. I have been trying to get around to writing here. I had more than 400 emails to look at when I finally signed on again. Yikes.

Started back to work and it was like starting all over again. I have also started grief counseling. I was skeptical, but it is really helping. It also lets me know that I am "normal". The first step I am told is acceptance and it can take up to a year. I feel better knowing that because there are some days that I know I have not accepted it, and wonder if I ever will.

One analogy I heard was it is like being under a pile of rocks and trying to climb out, I was feeling like I was making progress, but the last month it has been like the rocks fell back on me and I have to start over again. I have not wanted to write, talk or do anything else. The counselor said that I should plan ahead for days I know will be bad, so we are planning Kendall's first birthday. On February 13th she will be one. I am going to take a balloon bouquet to place on their headstone.

I am going to write more often, part of my "therapy" is to journal so this is as good a place as any. I had to define my comfort places, the places I go when things are bad, they are either sitting in the nursery in the rocking chair, or laying on Megan's bed. When I cannot handle life I can spend some time in these places and then I can face the world again.

Take care all.
I love you girls.

5 comments:

Rina said...

HUGS

Martha ~ xpetunia said...

I'm glad to see you back. The counseling sounds like it should be good for your head and heart. Many hugs to you!

bobbie said...

Teresa ~ I'm glad to see you back. I was worried about you, but I didn't want to intrude. Still sending hugs and good thoughts your way ~

Aleta1314 said...

Hugs Teresa - I still think about you and pray for you and your family. God Bless!

srharris said...

Sorry that I too have been MIA, you are in my thoughts and prayers always. I enjoyed catching up on things. Much love, Shell