Monday, April 13, 2009

I have sort of gotten away from posting my feelings and day to day trials. I am so worried about making others feel down that I dont' want to post the sadness. AND I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, I just need to get it out sometimes. When someone tells me they don't know what to say, that is enough. Just to know that I have people that will let me lean on them when I need too. I have met parents on this journey that are far down the road and they say it does not go away, I will always grieve and it will never be fair. Some of them have lost siblings or spouses and parents, and they say there is no grief like that of losing a child and that I don't have to feel guilty about having bad days.

I still have times that I bawl outloud because I miss the girls. Things still catch me off guard and make me catch my breath. One of those is this new song. The first time we heard it was when we were going to the cemetary, as we entered the gate this song came on the radio, we both just sat there not moving. What timing. (Sissy's Song) I have it here on the blog.

I do know how much I have to be thankful for, but some days are just too much.
I love you girls.

4 comments:

Charlotte said...

wow, this touched my heart- Megan and Kendall did fly up to heaven on the wings of angels....you cannot imagine how much you and Wade are in our hearts and minds. love and hugs~we are here for you ANYTIME.

Cheryl said...

The journal of this horrific journey is just that...it is yours..no one elses, and it is horrible. Megan isn't my child yet I think of her most every day and of you and Wade,of your situation, and yes, I feel very sorry for you, because it hurts, but don't feel bad for me, just let us all love you with our thoughts and prayers, and we are ALWAYS prayerful for you. I hope some days you can even feel it. We love you.

Martha ~ xpetunia said...

I'm always happy to see you posting, even if it's that you're feeling sad. I'm glad you're feeling *something*. HUGS to you girl. I'm still here for you, and I hope you can still make it to SA in June for the retreat. ((((()))))

Connie Cathey said...

When I heard this song I thought of Megan and Kendall weird huh? It is like it was written for you. I love Alan Jackson and his songs say it all. I like your blogs then I know how you are doing. It is good for you to let your thoughts out good or bad. Keep blogging. Your in our hearts daily. Everyone reading this love and care about you. Connie